French told to shed spiky image

If you go out on the French streets tonight, you're in for a big surprise. Well, that's if the government get their way. Frustrated by yet another survey which reveals that Gallic charm (or the purported lack of it) may be scaring tourists away, Sarko's groupies have officially declared war on the 'râleurs' who scoff arrogantly at foreign visitors to the Hexagon. While progress has been made in recent years, it's not enough, according to Luc Chatel, the Secretary of State for Tourism. With 62% of tourists declaring themselves generally satisfied with the warmth of their welcome in France (according to Ipsos), these figures compare quite shabbily to the mediterranean charms of the Spanish and the Italians.
With travellers becoming ever more picky, the French are keen to head off an exodus of cashed-up punters to their latin rivals. Some new measures are already on their way to appease demanding globe-trotters. Look out for......a standard Parisian taxi fare between the airports and the centre of town, airport massage and light therapy to de-stress the weary... a shiny leaflet to help newcomers called 'Bienvenue en France'.....and these just for starters. All this said, not all are taking the statisitics to heart. Thierry Baudier, for example, the Director of 'Maison de France' remarked to La Libération that 'Of the 79 million people that visit France every year, we can't imagine that they are all masochists.'

French words of the day: 'un râleur' - someone who moans a lot!

Wealthy skiers set to impress - with celeb instructors

According to AFP, the latest must-have to hit the slopes is nothing less than a celebrity instructor to show you the ropes. Ex-world champions like Christel Pascal and Frenck Piccard are hiring out their know-how for 1000 euros a day (as a minimum) this winter - a snip when you consider how impressed you fellow skiers will be. Never mind the cudos potential from recounting the 'this is is the next winning tip my celeb instructor gave me and it completely revolutionised my skiing' anecdotes you'll be sharing to a hushed audience wherever you go.

Love life gone downhill? Try Snow Dating

Single skiers take note! Time to bin those tight-fitting old ski pants and shape up for some chairlift canoodling in Valmorel this winter.

From the 12-20 January 2008, the Tarentaise resort is organising 'special meetings' in conjunction with Easy Flirt, a French website dedicated to those lookin for lurve.

And they're leaving nothing to Mother Luck - the opportunities to draguer are guaranteed to suit all but the most conservative tastes, for whom The Intrepid Rosbif recommends a generous helping of the local tipple. The programme includes mixed ski-racing (with the chances for crashing and burning quite high I would imagine) to Salsa lessons (now you're talking) and a good old fashioned pub crawl. Special chairlifts are being designated to transport the love-seekers at an extra slow pace to encourage high-altitude shenanigans - a tactic which could either seal the deal or encourage people to lift up the bar half way up and dive out into their nearest snowdrift.

Whatever happens on that chairlift, you can't hang around for too long - you've got 3 days, to be precise. But with prices up to 40% cheaper than the same hotel / studio accommodation for those smug marrieds, you can't fail but go home with a smile on your face - whether you're alone or not.

Find out more at valmorel.com

Useful phrase of the day - 'Voulez-vous skier avec moi ce soir?'

SNCF makes amends amid timetable revolution

If the school matron-like SNCF contrôleuse on the Annecy-Geneva train this morning is anything to go by, this is not the world's most customer-focused organisation. But aggressive barking at sleepy passengers is not the whole story, according to their latest press release.

Reeling from protests against their protests, the SNCF have decided to reimburse regular travellers for the inconvenience caused during the stoppages in November. So, commuters, when you come to renew your monthly pass in January, that most economically challenged of months, you should find yourself travelling for a bargain. This size of this festive offering is calculated in proportion to the amount of abject misery you endured.

Fellow commuters to Geneva are however left non-plussed by the offer, on the eve of a major overhaul to the Rhône-Alpes timetable. The veritable revolution (called 'cadencement' or 'in rhythm') starts on 9 December 2007 and aims to make the timetable easier to understand. For instance, travellers from Grenoble to Lyon line will just have to memorise the number 44 - with trains always leaving at 44 past the hour.

Critics on the Annecy-Geneva stretch argue that the un-commuter friendly bus replacements and schedule will force them back into their cars, while others will not be able to enjoy the new service (a first in France) thanks to - you guessed it - a new wave of forthcoming strikes.

Don't flap - it's cruelty free!

Le Dauphiné Libéré remarks today with an air of shock that six years have already passed since posh UK supermarket Waitrose stocked foie gras. Realising that the 'gavage' process involved in making it conflicted with the sensitivities of its animal-friendly shoppers, Waitrose decided to take a stand.

But then, after a while, they must have overheard festive consumers sitting around the dining room table on the big day, bemoaning the absence of the creamy paté, "...that used to taste so awfully nice with a glass of Sherry".

With that in mind, you have to take your Christmas hat off to the marketing bods who thought of "Faux Gras" - perhaps not better than the real thing, but (allegedly) a close second. The most cunning bit of all - fluffy bird lovers needn't fret - the product is produced from the naturally fattened livers of free-range British geese and ducks. And culinary Francophiles will be reassured to hear that it's contents all fit within the traditional foie gras regulations (i.e - it's 50% liver).

So, with the only proof being in the tasting, is there an Intrepid Rosbif reader out there willing to take the plunge? If so, please post the verdict!