Swiss bar owners fear profits will go up in smoke

Long gone are the days when the French cafés conceded to the first wave of anti-smoking legislation by placing a solitary and unused table as close as possible to the toilets with a non-fumeur sign on it - it may as well have said social outcasts only. And it was with a reluctant shrug of those revolutionary shoulders that they added the warning to cigarette packets, choosing the most innocuous dissuasion - something like 'try not to smoke if you can possibly help it.'

But that was Grenoble, 1991, when The Intrepid Rosbif was strutting around the streets and bars, with a Marlboro forever hanging off his lower lip. These days, with these French bars and restaurants getting used to the ban on smoking, the Swiss are lagging behind France and the UK with an outright ban in all public places, although that hasn't stopped some café owners taking the law into their own hands.

Directly underneath my place of employment in Geneva is a bar that until recently was packed with local types, the air thick with smoke and effervescent chit-chat. The Portuguese owner, a non-smoker, decided to take a stand and up went a hand-drawn 'no smoking' sign in the bar window just after Christmas. So, did this valiant act of defiance encourage the regular punters to bin the fags (cigarettes in UK English, not to be confused with homosexuals in US English) and enjoy each other's company without having to cough and smell for the rest of the day?

Alas, not exactly. In fact, apart from the lonely figure of a stout barmaid, wiping the same tables for the 84th time that day, there wasn't much happening. Unsurprisingly, a few days later, the revolution was over, the sign in the bin, the bar full of people, and the air again a billowing mass of smoke.

So, as les Genevois vote on the issue this weekend, there will those feeling that smokers should be actively discouraged (as per the picture above from the UN in Geneva) but not turfed out into the street for good. According to swissinfo.ch, the WHO (World Health Organisation) would like to see the Swiss charge more for cigarettes, as currently a pack of twenty will only set you back approximately $5 or GBP 2.50.

Mr. Rude dents Anglo-French relations

mr_rude
Originally uploaded by xvl75

Coming to UK TV screens in February is the new Mr Man - who is turning the air blue not only within the pages of the popular children's book, but also in high-ranking diplomatic circles. The reason? Gallic officials are reportedly put out by the character's distinctly french accent and serious flatulence issues.

Channel 5, who will be airing the programme, deny any blatent attempt to label the French people as either rude or flatulent, saying that it is just tongue-in-cheek. Decide for yourself by visiting the show's site at www.mrmen.com.

Slackers rejoice as pollution peaks

It's official - exercise is bad for you. The news alpine couch potatoes have been waiting for has finally arrived - according to local pollution specialists, to remain in optimum health you should avoid any kind of strenous outdoor activity.

Still, there is a down side to all those pizza's and DVD's. A quick glance at the site atmo-rhonealpes.org will be enough to spoil the fun and have you reaching for your nearest oxygen mask.

To cut to the chase, the high pressure sat on Europe, bringing with it still, stagnant air and all those cars and coaches chugging towards the slopes have induced a quality of air which would choke a city-dweller. And all this in the supposedly healthy environment of the alps. High altitude residents needn't fret, however, as these nefarious fumes are naturally at their worst in the valleys or built-up areas.

With the clear weather set to continue well into next week, the only sound counsel is to head for the hills!

Mont Blanc - the largest ...... toilet in Europe

Mont Blanc des de Brevent
Originally uploaded by lluisr

It might not look over-crowded, but according to Geneva's daily free paper 'Le Matin Bleu', it most certainly is - to the detriment of this unique natural spectacle.

The paper cites the spectacularly hot summer of 2003 as the catalyst for the mountain's current woes, as sweltering masses headed for the hills. Ever since, it seems, with a reputation as being a relatively 'easy climb', Mont Blanc has been swamped by an ever-growing number of climbers who hail from all four corners of the globe. 30,000 attempt the ascent each summer, with the number set to rise as climbers from growing economies such as Russia, India and China are tempted by the allure of reaching the peak.

Sadly, not all seem to treat the habitat with the respect it deserves, which has led the Major of St Gervais to describe the routes to the top as 'more of an open toilet than a glacier'. It seems that those in doubt as to the way to the summit need only follow the orange snow.

The over-crowded 'refuges' have led to impromptu camping (which isn't allowed) and although the installation of 'dry toilets' at base camp is a good gesture, it seems that climbers need to take responsibility to be eco-friendly with regards to their litter, but as for the toilet issue - if a man's gotta go, a man's gotta go.

Entrepreneurs might like to invent an alpine-friendly cork for the rear-end, or perhaps even cross-legged climbing pants..?